Stronger by the minute!

It’s amazing how one person can ruin your life. One moment you are happy.., and then ‘poof!’ The moment is gone, you are in turmoil, agony crying desperately to God to end the anguish. But the funny bit is that all this time you saw the dominos fall all around you.. and you expected by some luck they will stop just before they touch you.. but then it happens.. and you become weak, you become angry, you ask God questions that will never be answered… and then you breath.. You are still alive! And that’s the most important part… that God kept you alive in all that.

Situations get nasty, life becomes hard, important things no longer matter, the illusion of a perfect life remains just that.. an illusion! But through it all only God remains constant. How funny that most will stop at nothing to achieve their dreams, but quickly forget God’s input when they make it big in life. The illusion of making it is a big hindrance to the glory of God. Humans become proud, arrogant, claim they’re “self-made” and call themselves the “big kahuna.” The reality remains the same, we are nothing but dust. We constantly need God to mould us into become the ultimate objects of His liking. They say to whom much is given, much is expected. Well I have tested and tried that theory. Turns out it is true on every level… the more resources you get, the more responsibilities you gain.

Its funny how we forget God in good times, until a situation slaps you back to reality and that’s when you remember you have knees.. and you kneel to pray.. but God doesn’t seem to be answering your prayers fast enough. Then you remember you have not tithed since Abraham got Isaac… or at least that’s the last sermon you heard the last time you went to church which is.. eee… cant even remember right??

But its not only about going to church and tithing. Its about being good! I mean really being good… As Christians we like to look (and probably feel) GOOD!  But we never invest our time and efforts in being good really..! Wait, you didn’t even know there was a difference right? That’s because we are all in the same basket worrying to death what the society will think of us if they knew I took two for the road yesterday, or that our firstborn was born out of wedlock, or that a close family member just had an abortion… nooo we’re too good for all these..! I mean look at how sharp I look on Sundays, carrying the offering basket; forget the fact that I didn’t even bother to throw in the few coins I left from the bar last night.

I see my friends and I rush to them;

“Hey, how are you doing?” I shout trying not to face the sun so as not to stir the hangover!

“We’re okay…” she answers even though it’s clear they are not in good terms with the boyfie.

“How are you?” She asks trying to extend the hug.

“I'm doing great.” I respond as part of my default “good African” manner.

But I am not okay and everything is not great. I know why I was in the bar at half past ungodly hour last night. I know that I cursed and became infuriated with the world for a few hours before I decided to drive back home to change and come to church to serve. But there is a battle in me. I feel frustrated, I feel alone even though I am now struggling to terminate this hug that will only stir more problems into my best friend's relationship.

I look around, was it my doing or the world’s? I once told myself that God had left me alone for five minutes and my life took the wrong turn. This time it seems like God took a month to get back to me. And the damage?

I see a nursing mom, I guess I should head home now, my wife just delivered a bouncing baby boy. I see a crying child, I remember my tears to God all the way to church today. But why is this paining so much? Why is it not going away? Why do I have to pay for mistakes that happened decades ago? Why are the dominos falling now?

I see the pastor, reminds me of how I used to pray.. how I used to move mountains.. but now it all seems impossible. How delicate and useless the human heart is.. It has already forgotten the mighty battles I have won with God by my side. How useless is this life really, that you can be so good, actually be good and fall by the night to be just a shadow of your former self? What good is it being good then? Why bother? If at the end of the day you end up in the same basket as those who are just getting-by by being average. And worse still, there is no satisfaction of being lukewarm.. or even being bad! Like a wise King once said..

“Its all USELESS.. its like a mad man chasing the wind!”

And I couldn’t agree more. And so I am done chasing the wind. I am done blaming the wind for wasting my time even. I am going to focus on what God started in me.. The rest (wind), I am going to leave it to the world.

Whatever people say… wind!

Whatever my friends think… wind!

Whatever the over-saved couple in my LG recommend… Okay wait maybe they might just have a point, but you catch my drift… WIND!

It’s amazing how one person can ruin your life. One moment you are happy.., and then ‘poof!’ The moment is gone, you are in turmoil, agony crying desperately to God…. But you know what.., eventually GOD does come through.., and when He does, it won’t matter how bad the situation is, or how many rock bottoms you have hit.. All that will matter is that GOD IS IN CONTROL!!